• From the book...

    I can't afford to let myself feel good, to let my guard down, to think for a single moment that I belong.

    Because I don't.


Welcome to the Fanboy and Goth Girl web site! Browse the site for information about the book, an excerpt, VidLit link, images, and more.

You'll also get a chance to meet the main characters from the book through their blogs and letters.

Poem: What It Felt Like

(Written by Kyra Sellers in ninth grade) [NOTE from the poetess: Some asshole hacked into my computer at home and stole a bunch of shitty poems I wrote when I was stupid. He’s posting them on the web and I can’t stop him.]


And light

(Like Mom used to say to me, so sarcastic, when she hated me

Which was always)

Like slivers of chocolate

Melting on your tongue


Welling up




(Like Mom’s nail polish, when it got hard and clumpy)

The kindest cut

Was the first

The one that woke me up

With sharp precision

Welcome pain

Unfamiliar joy

The rest were less kind

For being less a surprise

But no less sweet

19 Responses to “Poem: What It Felt Like”

  1. Electra says:

    all poets have those shitty poems>> luckily I burned them before anyone could see

  2. Kyra says:

    yeah but are yours all over the freakin’ internet? when i catch the guy who hacked my computer, i’m gonna cut his balls off, roast them…and them i’m gonna get MEAN

  3. Dude says:

    I am the one posting them..

  4. Kyra says:


  5. lynn says:

    what shitty poetry. your an awsome poet krya. oh and i e-mailed the poems to all my friends

  6. That one shy girl.... says:

    Yeah gotta love those kinds of poems. You first write em thinking you’ve got something but when you read them again your like “What the hell is wrong with me?”

    And lord help the man who hacked your computer….

  7. This Book Was Great says:

    was this someones actual peom?
    if it was this kind stinks that you got hacked not a bad poem mind i have a thing for the girls that are dark and silent. They’re the best

  8. William says:

    Dark poetry is always a joy to write, but seldom a joy to read. It gets your emotions out there, and knowing someone hacked ya and let this all out…I feel for ya.

  9. theodora says:

    thinking drives nuts. think about that

  10. E.N. says:

    thats really messed up you got your computer haked.but the poetry was really good… alot better than those annoying happy poems-but anyway when you find the bastard that hakedd your computer i’ll lend you my sorwd and spiked gloves.

  11. Ryan says:

    Damn…………..i wish i could meet kyra in person (Yea I’m a big gaiman nerd Deal with it)……..but yea that’s beautiful. You know if a movie comes out its just going to suck. It will never measure up right. I mean this book proves the clerks philosiphy life is just a series of down endings, one after another. But the book shows hope by telling us to deal with it. and DO something

  12. Phate says:

    Lacking wit, originality, or talent of any kind. Why must you needlessly perpetuate the negative stereotype of the (post?)modern (post?)goth poet?

    The freeform style is a plus until the fourth line or so, when it begins to sound contrived and repetitive, eliminating the entire (non?)purpose of the style.

    The parentheses-bound “real-life” interjections break the mood (assuming that it had a mood other than trivium in the first place), reeking of failed attempts at cleverness.

    The content (especially the last few lines) are the most redeemable of the poem, suggesting someone who knows what they’re talking about, someone who has genuinely fixed their (faux) unliving, (practiced) unblinking stare into the fathomless fissure that is self-mutilation and eventual suicide (so mundane a word, so unworthy of the connotations it serves)… but here I am waxing poetic. The last few lines suggest experience, and imply potential… but a suggestion does not experience make, and any potential hidden in the above work has yet to be coaxed into maturity.

  13. one fish two fish red fish blue fish says:

    agh, memorys.

  14. Dana Magee says:

    I rest my cold hand
    On your burning face
    The pain
    The suffering
    A tear falls down my cheek
    You’re leaving me
    You can’t
    I need you
    I love you
    You lay in the cold
    Hospital Bed, taking your last breaths
    I see pain in your eyes
    I rest my head on your chest
    To hear your heart beat
    To know your still with me
    I lay down beside you
    And take your hand
    I stroke it
    I whisper in your ear
    All the little jokes we used to share
    I look in your eyes
    Your heart stops
    And you’re gone…

    Thats a poem I wrote when my dad died. Kyras poem kinda reminded me of this poem because she speaks about her mother.

  15. FanboyandGothGirl.com says:

    That’s very sweet.

    Sorry for your loss.

  16. naomi says:

    i can relate to this, the people that are made of your own flesh and blood and they hate you. you can’t feel pain when it’s all you’ve ever known.

    oh hey, let me know when you find the loser that hacked your computer.. i’ll beat the shit out of him. 😉

  17. naomi says:

    that is, of course after you’re finished with him.

  18. vishnu says:

    🙂 goth girl is awsome, and ill pwn anyone who screws with her lol.

  19. vishnu says:

    Dana Magee your poem is great. Its so beatiful and sad at the same time… Its overwhelming with consideration. T.T